Jenny Lawson, full-grown mammal: an introduction -- I already forgot I wrote this -- Six times I've lost my shoes while wearing them: a list that shouldn't exist -- And then I bought condoms for my dog -- Rainbow fire -- All of the reasons why I'm not coming to your party -- Samuel L. Jackson is trying to kill me -- How do dogs know they have penises? -- These truisms leave out a lot of the truth -- An open letter to my health insurance company -- I'm not going outside anymore -- The things we do to quiet the monsters -- The golden (shower) years -- Awkwarding brings us together -- That time I got haunted by lizards with bike horns -- We are who we are until we aren't anymore -- Introverts unite! (But sweet baby Jesus, not in real life) -- My dentist hates me -- Am I even still alive? -- The secret to a long marriage -- So I'm paying to beat the shit out of myself? -- Anxiety is a lost watch I never saw -- The eight billionth argument I had with Victor this week -- Sometimes there is beauty in breaking -- No one wants your handwritten "Good for one free massage" coupons, Darryl -- I feel it in my bones -- Editing is hell, mostly for editors -- The first satanic ritual I ever saw -- Damaged good(s) -- My house is a garbage fire because I clean it -- And that's why I can never go back to the post office again -- I am a magpie -- Up divorce creek without a paddle (because the guide didn't trust me not to push Victor overboard with it) -- Eclipse (not the Twilight book, the other kind) -- Business ideas to pitch on Shark Tank -- Strange new weather patterns -- Souls.

"As Jenny Lawson's hundreds of thousands of fans know, she suffers from depression. In Broken, Jenny brings readers along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way"-- Provided by publisher.